what might have been, isn't possible. what could have been, won't be. what should have been, can't be. what I wanted is no longer possible. the way it was will never be again. That might sound fatalistic and pessimistic to you. Maybe it is, but I'm okay with it. I am normally annoyingly optimistic, but… Continue reading ongoing grief.
When I moved into my apartment a little over a year ago, I had a housewarming party. One of the gifts I received: a set of four wine glasses with words etched on the side. One says "learn," another "embrace," another "explore," and the last says "live." Most people have probably heard of the seven… Continue reading stages.
I always want to put an 'h' in crisis. I'm not sure why. That's irrelevant and is just a passing observation. Right now, I have no filter. It's no secret that I've been through a few crises in my life. From what I've experienced, I've realized that a crisis can either tear relationships apart or… Continue reading what a crisis can do.
I am a Lyft driver on the weekends and here is a story. I picked them up near the ocean. A father and son. The father didn’t move fast because his joints just wouldn’t let him. He had barely creaked himself into a sitting position into the backseat of my car before he had shared… Continue reading grief shared.
My cooking mojo basically disappeared after Mike died. It was just gone and I didn't have it in me to put a meal together. We survived on prepackaged freezer meals from Trader Joe's and the CSA produce that my brother gifted to us. It worked, for awhile. I did try getting back into cooking off… Continue reading cooking mojo.
Sometimes, the hurt is too deep... So you do the dishes, ignoring the cacophony of the past behind you. So you sweep the floor, trying to remember and forget at the same time. So you scour the tub, pretending that your eyes are dry and your heart is whole. Sometimes, the hurt is just too… Continue reading do pray.
Great grief isn't made to fit inside your body. It's why your heart breaks. ...pain demands to be felt - or it will demand you feel nothing at all. ~ The Broken Way, Ann Voskamp I would hazard to say that any complex, deeply felt emotion isn't made to fit inside of our bodies for a… Continue reading broken heart.
I'd like to think I'm past the "embrace" stage. And maybe I'm on to the "learn" stage. The funny thing about grief, no matter what kind of grief, is that there's always something new to embrace, new to learn, new to explore, and new to live. It's also kind of funny how my wine glasses… Continue reading embrace learn explore live.
I remember saying that my brain knew what happened when Mike died, but that my heart and my soul were having problems catching up. Now, almost a full year later, I still find that to be true, but it’s changed a little since he died. At first, I was looking for his pick-up in the… Continue reading remembering.
Maybe people who aren’t going though grief have similar things that they deal with in life. I seem to recall that life would throw me for a twist every so often and I’d be in my doldrums for a little bit, but would bounce back soon enough. This…this is different. I alternate from happy, happy,… Continue reading moments.